he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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