I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
