Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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