i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
