Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i would punch a child for taco bell
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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