This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
