She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Screwed.edu
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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