I'm drive I can fine osifer
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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