honey bunches of taint.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
