How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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