I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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