spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
