He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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