They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
