I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
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