I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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