Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
