it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
