i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
