Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
