I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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