dude i'm inner monologue high
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
