I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
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