Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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