some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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