I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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