tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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