biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
