I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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