are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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