You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
