Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
