Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
