Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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