Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
