Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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