Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
well most of my day revolves around power hour
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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