she looked like the before picture.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize