As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
