Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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