no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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