when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
