actually, I'm a sock model
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
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Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
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It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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