i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
