And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
