I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize