And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
