just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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