Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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