He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
