why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
We have so much sex to catch up on
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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