Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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