Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
