Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize