this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
