If i could tip my vagina, i would.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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