She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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