...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Randomize
