discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
