mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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