Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
