Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
