Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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